Killing Tuesday
by Schlangenkind
Summary: Part One of the 'Hating Monday' series: Monday came and went but nothing happened. They all thought she'd handle it. After all she managed just fine on her own before that fateful detention, right? Well, she didn't. And nobody noticed.


This is the first part of a series of one shots. I've no idea when the next one comes. Enjoy!

**Spelling: **I'm not a native speaker so my story is far from perfect. If somebody likes to correct my chapters you're welcome!

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|Part One of the 'Hating Monday' series|

**Killing Tuesday.**

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**Allison**

Allison liked them. She really did. It was a feeling she wasn't used to. There was a reason she was known as the 'basket case' and it had nothing to do with her mental stability. At least not as far as she knew. Allison just didn't do well with other people. Even when she stood directly in front of them, talked to them they never really _saw_ her. It was painful and so frustrating. Some days her invisibility made her sad. Some days it made her angry. But most days she simply didn't care. It was easier that way. Saturday wasn't one of these days though. And neither was monday.

Because something was different. She liked Bender's stupid jokes and complete disregard for rules. She liked Brian's shyness and nervous ramblings. She liked Andrew's reasonable thoughts and soft eyes. She liked Claire's ridiculous arrogance and whiny voice.

She liked them because they were _real_. Their faults were real. And during that strange saturday detention something had happened between them. A bond had formed out of raw emotions and silly complaints. This connection had been so pure, so enchanting it seemed impossible their friendship wouldn't last. _But they all knew that there was no place for dreams in reality, didn't they?_

During those shared hours Allison had learned to open up to people she didn't even know. She had talked to them and for maybe the first time in her life they actually _listened_. Looking back now she still couldn't believe she'd actually done that. But the circumstances had been special. Somehow that day everything had been different. Everything had been real, from Andrew's tears and Claire's screams to Bender's scars and Brian's swearing. Allison had allowed four people to get to know her. She had even liked them.

And maybe they'd liked her back.

Allison never doubted the sincerity of their feelings. Saturday hadn't been an elaborate game or some stupid plot of a few bored kids. It had been honest, maybe even a little too honest. It just wasn't enough. Their curious friendship had been practically instantaneous but it had never been meant to be. This wasn't one of those connections out of books or movies. This didn't last. Not forever. And certainly not after today.

Because by the time monday came around the magic of the moment had already faded. They still liked her, she supposed. Just not enough to stand up for her. To greet her. To smile at her. And she couldn't even hate them for it. None of them were truly mean about it. And they didn't always run into each other or even shared the same classes. There was a reason why they hadn't known each others names until last saturday after all. But once or twice she met them by chance. Simply because now she actually recognized their faces and noticed them in the crowd. And she looked at them. Met their gaze. And there was nothing. _Nothing_. There was no name calling. No smirking. No welcoming smile. There was nothing at all. And then she walked past them and another magic moment - a darker magic - was over. _Gone_.

It was her fault too. Allison didn't actively try to seek them out. And she didn't greet them. She hadn't even worn Claire's hair band. It had been lost somewhere in the depth of her large bag, buried by all the other things she always carried around. The black shit was on her eyes again too and her faded sweatshirt hung off her body like a cheap plastic bag. She didn't look pretty anymore. This morning, as she faced herself in the mirror, she hadn't even tried. So maybe she was just as much to blame. Because she - like all the others - had washed away every sign of the change that occurred two days ago like it was dirt. Nine hours weren't such a long time. It had been too soon. She wasn't ready to change her ways. _Not even for them_.

And the others weren't either.

Allison knew all these facts. She had known them the precise moment she left the library that fateful afternoon at four o'clock. But that hadn't stopped her from letting Andrew kiss her. It hadn't stopped her from becoming _visible_. And monday morning it hadn't stopped the biting pain when she was once again the same basket-case she had been the friday before.

She was invisible again. Just like that.

Nothing had changed. But everything was different.

Because this time around it was so much harder to bear her fate. For a brief moment her world had been filled with color, life and laughter. And then it bled a very pretty red and the only thing left behind was a meaningless grey. It wasn't ugly, not exactly. It was just _grey_. Her whole world was grey. And now that she remembered how breathtaking the different shades of blue, green and yellow looked, grey wasn't enough anymore. It would never be enough again.

It took Allison the whole day to realize that she wasn't coping with her rank as a social outcast any longer. Not at all. When Mrs. Williams didn't even read her name on her class list out loud it felt like someone stabbed her with a blunt knife, even though her ignored existence had never bothered her before. At least not to this extend. And it was even worse when no one else noticed that she had been forgotten yet again. Not even Brian who sat in the front row and was scribbling down every word the teacher said without looking up once.

But it took her father forgetting to pick her up from school again and Andrew walking by without making any indication that he even recognized her to awake the dark thoughts buried deeply in her subconsciousness. Thoughts about disappearing, running, fleeing, dying. Thoughts about bleeding all the color out of her veins until nothing but grey was left.

And Allison was scared because for the first time she was considering it. Seriously.

After all it wouldn't matter, right? Nobody cared anyway. The only one suffering was she and maybe she'd get better if she wasn't trapped in this hell hole they called school. Maybe she could really do it.

Hours went by as Allison stood there on the parking lot, alone and forgotten. There was nothing else to do, so she honestly contemplated leaving everything behind. The school. The town. Her life. Without ever looking back. Coldness sunk through the thin layers of her clothes. Slowly like poison.

Plans were forming in her mind, some crazy, some not so much. But then night fell and her legs started to cramp and Allison stood up carefully, the tear streaks frozen on her cheeks. She started walking along the street. Her steps weren't hurried nor were they hesitating. They were quiet.

Allison didn't know where she wanted to go or what was going to happen tomorrow. She didn't knew if tomorrow would even be. It seemed like a pretty day to kill. One thing she knew for sure though: come Tuesday morning the life of Shermer High School would go on like every other day. Without her. Like every day.

It was too cold to feel the aching pain.

Allison Reynolds was done fading away like an old picture in the newspaper. She was tired of fighting them all. They wanted her _gone_. Had shown her often enough that no one cared. That she should just go. Disappear. Run away and never come back. Bleed.

So she did.

And even when the headlights were so close she had to close her eyes Allison still felt invisible.

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... What do you think?

Love Schlangenkind


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